i can't believe i created this. i'm so lame.

clearly i'm only capable of updating every 3 months

2007-07-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

of all the things the russki salon stylist could have said when i sat down to get my eyebrows waxed:
oh my gosh!! you have tons of hairs!

at least she didn't ask me if i wanted my mustache waxed...

apparently the correct way to pronounce "County Road HH" is "County Road double-H." so you're saying it's not "County Road Pee Pee"? that's exactly what i'm saying.

post removed by administrator.

peace out.

sunday sunday sunday

2007-04-29T15:57:00.000-07:00

it seems like whenever i use a public restroom, i'm always out a few minutes before my other friends. what in the world do girls do in the bathroom for so long? seriously, am i missing a vital step? i use soap, i swear!

when i'm driving and i see a car with a rosary hanging from its rearview mirror, i get an urge to roll down my window and say something like, "hey! i'm catholic too! be my friend!" it would be much easier to have some sort of hand signal that catholics could flash to identify each other. yes, exactly like a gang sign.

is it okay that i REALLY like "africa" by toto?

and a bonus:

susan: i'm afraid that people think i'm immature cause i laugh so much.
me: that's a stupid fear.
susan: well you're afraid that people think you eat too much meat, so let's not judge fears here.

peace out. you've been most patient, loyal fans.

holy smokes, katie updated!

2007-02-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

how do you stop your senior boys from tossing you over their shoulders and running through the halls with you as their captive? perhaps i'll gain 40 pounds so that they throw out their backs. that'll teach em.

this is going to be disgusting, but i just have to know: when you really gotta go #2 and then you suddenly don't have to anymore because you waited so long, where does it go?

sometimes i really need to watch what i say:

example #1
me, getting really angry at the freshmen boys who weren't being quiet in their hotel room when we went to dc for the march for life: boys! you're being too loud! it's past lights out and there are other people in this hotel besides our group!
freshmen boys: you can't be in our room, miss devitt, you're a girl. no girls allowed in boys rooms, remember?
me, getting more angry: i'm a teacher! and i'm gonna be a nun! nuns and teachers don't have sex! wait....

example #2
i direct this Passion play that the kids put on during Lent called Shadow Stations. during the play, two roman soldiers rip the cloak off of Jesus during the 10th Station, Jesus is stripped of His garments.

soldiers, goofing off during practice: let's see how fast we can strip the cloak off Jesus!
me, sarcastically: yeah, okay, let's just mock Jesus. let's forget about His suffering and just have fun. let's all just have a big stripping party! wait....

peace out, yo.

happy half birthday to me!

2006-11-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

as i passed one of my 7th graders in the hall the other day, i said, "hi, patrick!" patrick smiled, nodded at me, and said, "m'lady."
at least i think he did. i didn't totally hear what he said, so it could have also been, "i'm late," which is a comment not really worth blogging about.

i was at a Confirmation Mass today and one of the sponsor's names was betty willfhart. just think of the endless possibilities.

if you're wondering if one of my seniors and i practiced doing this during 8th period study hall yesterday, the answer is yes.

peace out, yo.

homecoming friday

2006-10-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

i told one of my students that they looked "sharp" yesterday. i think i've officially bypassed the turning-into-your-mother phase and gone straight into grandma mode.

someone stole my bathroom pass -- a statue of a franciscan monk -- the other day. although i'm kinda angry about it, the joke's on them: that little guy has been accomanying hundreds of students to both the girls' and boys' bathrooms for a year now. i won't even touch him for fear of syphilis.

the following story proves why Pope John Paul II was pretty much the best ever:

Fr. Martin tells the story of his priest friend who is a rather large man. this priest met the Pope for the first time about 10 years ago and was so nervous that for hours beforehand, he practiced what he was going to say. as soon as he was in the Holy Father's presence, however, his mind went blank and couldn't for the life of him think of anything good to say. so as he shook Pope John Paul's hand, he said the first thing that came to his mind:
"where's the best pizza joint around here, Holy Father?"
JPII just smiled, pinched his fat little cheek, and replied, "awww, it looks like you already found it!"

peace out, yo.

lunes

2006-10-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

i kind of enjoy scooping up kitty poop, mostly cause i like to see what shapes i can see in the clumps. yesterday sophie pooped out a brontosaurus.

Fr. stan fortuna is a rapping priest from the bronx. normally i find him to be theologically impressive and ghetto-fabulous. however, i believe he crossed the line at st. john bosco day this weekend when he began to freestyle about asking the Blessed Mother to "cook you in an oven like a corn muffin and slice you down the center, slather butter on you and make you tender."
you can't make stuff like this up.

i think it's totally in keeping with my character to have picked out the two kittens that fart something fierce when they're happy.

peace out. sorry for the delay in update.

Katie gives Mike her password!

2006-09-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

I'm Katie. I write in my blog. La La La.

saturnight

2006-09-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

i feel like my head shape is very well-suited for wearing bandanas. i've got one on right now and totally look like a thug.
or possibly olga, the ukrainian cleaning lady.

i'll know that i've finally made it big when i own an electric stapler.
and the clapper.
and i'll probably need something off of a ron popeil infomercial, too. i've always wanted to set it and forget it.

i notice that i try to synchronize my every action to the beat of whatever song i'm listening to at the moment. it can be kinda restricting at times (just now, i couldn't swallow my malted milk ball until the next sufjan song started and gave me a rhythm by which to coordinate my swallowing), but i will argue that it's the most fun out of all the obsessive-complusive behaviors one can have.

peace.

friday friday friday

2006-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

neck wrinkles = katie's new fear.

i realize that when i'm making small talk with adults, i use the word "actually" in practically every sentence. here's an interaction i had today with an old lady at Mass:

old lady, seeing my franciscan university sweatshirt: "did you go to steubenville?"
me: "actually i went to marquette."
old lady: "ah."
me: "i actually teach religion and we took a group of kids to a youth conference there this summer. so i bought a sweatshirt."
old lady: "where do you teach?"
me: "actually i teach in central wisconsin, in a little city called wisconsin rapids."
old lady: "where is that near?"
me: "it's actually about an hour away from the dells."
old lady: "the fact that you respond with the word 'actually' every time you open your mouth is driving me crazy. peace out."
me: "actually yes, i admit that i do say this word quite often but it comes out involuntarily. actually, it's like diarrhea of the mouth, actually. i actually should get going myself. have a good day, actually, actually, double-actually."

i bet that in the Garden of Eden, Adam knew that:

A) i would hate all birds
B) that my little brother would own a cockatiel and
C) i would hate that particular bird more than any other animal on the planet

why else would he have stuck my poor little first name in the center of the word 'cockatiel' when he was naming all the animals? that was just mean.

peace out, yo.

it's been a long time, hasn't it, folks

2006-08-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

i want you to say the following name aloud: "Sister Eucharia"
how did you pronounce it?
if you pronounced it, "you-CAR-ee-ya," you are correct.
if you were like me, however, and pronounced it, "you-car-EE-ya" (thus making Sister's name rhyme with diarrhea), you'd be very wrong (but much more funny than all those guys who got it right).

most contemplative nuns have a sister name (Sister Mary Elizabeth, Sister Mary Robert, etc.) and then also have a title (of the Five Wounds, of Christ Crucified, of the Ressurection, etc.). i think i should start making my students address me with a title right now, just to practice. "Miss Devitt of the Transfiguration, can I go to the bathroom?" or "Miss Devitt of the Sacred Heart, are we going to have any homework?" i'm soooooo doing it.

one of the most beautiful practices that a sister does is getting dressed in her habit, because there are specific prayers that she says with every piece she puts on. a little high school girl on the Nun Run this past week asked the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity if they too said prayers while they were getting dressed. "ya know," she asked, "something like, 'now i lay my veil on my head'?"
if you didn't think that was absolutely hilarious, it just means that you're not a big enough church nerd yet.

peace.

Sunday is Fun Day

2006-07-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

i made the realization today that my right nostril is significantly larger than my left one. i kind of feel like a monster, but of all the things that could be disproportionate (eyeballs, fingers, butt cheeks), i should probably count my lucky stars.

my dog is actually good for something, i discovered today. i was eating lunch, put an inedible fatty piece of meat into my mouth, and instead of spitting it into the garbage i thought to myself, "what if i gave it to sammy?" boy did she lap that sucker up.
ya know, upon further reflection, that was a really gross story and i can't believe i just typed that out for you all to read.

best bumper sticker ever: "i love my german shepherd (pope benedict XVI)"

peace out.

The 8th day of the 7th month of the 2006th year of our Lord

2006-07-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

i have this fairly ridiculous rule that if i discuss a subject with a person in real life, it then becomes off-limits for my blog because it will be old news for the person with whom i had the discussion. so for those of you who complain that i don't update this puppy enough, know that many a hilarious topic have been ruined from my speaking aloud to you people. i just hope you're all happy.

you know what i miss? duck hunt.

my best friend totally beats your best friend. wanna know why? because starting today, she can sign her name "Melissa T. Peck, RN."
told you.

peace.

Friiiiiiiiiday

2006-06-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

do you ever think about mistakes you've made in the past and know without a doubt that you'd make the same error again if the same situation presented itself? for instance, in high school, i read aloud the title, "aloha omaha" and pronounced the second word "oh-MAH-ha." i guarantee i'd do it again today and it almost certainly has to do with the fact that i don't know where omaha is.

successfully receiving Jesus on the tongue during Holy Communion is truly an art. the timing of both the priest and the recipient have to be just right. some priests get right on in there and aren't afraid of getting a little saliva on them now and then. the priest i had yesterday, however, has clearly been unintentionally licked too many times. after i said "amen, " he shot Jesus into my mouth like a frisbee. thankfully, he had good aim -- Jesus isn't a toy!

gaining weight has never really been too big of a fear of mine. what is a huge fear, however, is developing cankles. believe it or not, i check the status of my ankles daily to make sure i still have two distinct body parts. so far so good.

peace out.

Saturday

2006-06-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

i've been doing some thinking lately about what life might be like if i got married instead of becoming a sister. here are 3 prerequisites for any future husband of mine, inspired by my trip to nyc this week:

* he must be willing to wear suspenders from the day of his 60th birthday until the day of his death. and then he's gotta let me bury him in them.

* he has to take me to nyc and get lost in central park with me.

* he has to let me name our son Max (Maximilian) and our daughter Ellie (Eleanor).

qualified candidates can feel free to contact me for a more extensive interview.

peace out, yo.

Memorial Day

2006-05-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

since i've begun living alone, my talking aloud to myself habit has severely increased. this afternoon, i conducted a 10-minute conversation with myself regarding my lesson plans for this week. and i did it all in a horrible russian accent. this may be cause for alarm.

i hate blowing my nose as it is, but i hate it even more when i'm blowing into the green kleenex i just bought. there's really not much in the world that's grosser than staring at your snot in an already snot-colored tissue.

i tried to buy the movie double jeopardy tonight at walmart and the cashier carded me to make sure i was old enough to be watching R rated movies. i think that's nice.

peace out, yo.

Lazy Saturday

2006-05-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

when i was home last weekend, my mom said that i could pick any restaurant in the world to go to for my birthday dinner. even i was a little surprised by how ghetto i've become when i heard "old country buffet" come out of my mouth.

i wish i used "okay" instead of "ok" and "pardon?" instead of the caveman-esque "huh?".

my fifth period freshman class has informed me that they are on a mission from God to get me hitched to a man instead of Jesus. after rejecting their suggestions of teachers, they began inquiring about various boys in the senior class. apparently they don't mind if i'm in jail, just as long as i have a husband.

peace.

thank heavens it's friday

2006-05-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

if i position my closet mirror just right, i can see myself from my bed, snuggled under the covers. and i have to be honest here, i look pretty dang cute.

i love how God clues you in on your vocation by the things He naturally endows you with. for instance, i never had to question too hard whether or not i was supposed to be a ballerina. all i ever had to do was look down at my monster feet.

do you ever stand in front of the mirror and practice what pose you're gonna do for the cover of your debut cd?
yeah... me neither.

peace out, yo.

Tuesday's edition

2006-05-09T16:48:00.000-07:00

i burned incense for the first time last night and it was fun. is this a slippery slope towards a marijuana addiction?

on our way to the chapel during my diocesan religion meeting today, i saw a priest out of the corner of my eye and got all excited and was ready to exclaim, "hi, Fr.!"
I turned my head and it was so not a priest.
and so not a man.
poor gal.

pezzie wezzie steals slot #3!

pelly53098: wow. CSNY is coming through in September
ITZ JAMn: can we see them? do you like them??
pelly53098: I like Y

peace out.

Sunday, oh boy

2006-05-07T12:53:00.000-07:00

it's really starting to gross me out that i use the same style of spoon to stir my mac and cheese as i do to flush my toilet.

do you ever try things just to see if you can do them? i fear that the majority of my pulled muscles have come not from doing something respectable like exercise but from numerous attempts at getting my foot behind my head, getting up from lying on my back without using my arms, and doing pull-ups on a door frame.

i just made an executive decision: come tomorrow, all of my classes will be conducted from the floor.

peace out.

Birthday Thursday

2006-05-04T18:40:00.000-07:00

today's flavor of the day at culver's would be maple pecan, wouldn't it.

the internal conversation i had with myself while i was brushing my teeth this morning: "remember when donny osmond had a talk show? that was funny."

all the flowers, IMs, emails, packages, cakes, cards, "happy birthdays," phone calls, and hugs i got today were great, dont get me wrong. but i think the fact that i had cheesy tots for dinner tonight was the best part of birthday 2006, i can't lie.

peace out. thanks for making my birthday one of the best EVER.

Possessed in Milwaukee (Saturday)

2006-04-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

I tried to get Betsy to write a blog entry for me.

She failed miserably.

We are no longer friends.

easter tuesday

2006-04-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

there aren't many things in the world worse than a fridge that smells like ukrainian easter food.

is it just me, or does everything that grandma makes just taste better? i'm partial to 'grandma-glass-of-water" myself.

is cake that's been sitting on your kitchen counter for two weeks still good to eat? should i maybe have gotten the answer to that question before i partook of it for a half hour tonight? perhaps.

peace.

Palm Sunday!

2006-04-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

i just finished watching dennis the menace for the first time in years and i'm so in love with it that this entry will be entirely devoted to it. some observations:

a) christopher lloyd as the kidnapper in this movie is the scariest bad guy that's ever existed.

b) if i ever have children, my little boy better be JUST like the kid who plays dennis. otherwise, i'm sending him back.

c) i distinctly remember the first time i saw this movie and my dad shattered my dreams by telling me that it was a stunt double and not walter matthau who did the splits in the bathroom scene. i've never quite recovered from that.

peace out.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's friday

2006-04-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

the two bales of hay that used to live mysteriously in my garage have now been artfully placed on my front lawn. i think this is a landscaping theme that my downstairs duplex neighbor needs to consult me on.

i have a confession. i voted for an american idol singer for the first time in my life last week. and i voted for bucky covington. he's not a great singer, he's pretty ugly, and he's a hick. but the camera guy showed his wife during his performance and i was so happy that bucky found love that i needed to support him in his endeavor.

guess what robert (a future priest) and i (a future nun) were doing in the car on the way home from la crosse last night? we were definitely singing along to outkast's hey ya! and hardcore shaking it like a polaroid picture. oh, the things that go on after the 2:40 school bell.

peace out.

time for tuesday

2006-04-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

the boy at KFC gave me a bunch of extra bbq sauces at the drive-through tonight. i'm pretty sure that's code for "i can't live without you."

before neko case sang one of her songs during her show this weekend, she announced, "this one's for all the ukrainians in the audience." dang right! it's about time we ukies get the recognition we deserve.

this may well be the grossest thing that has ever happened to me:
my little brother reported that our cat lenny caught a mouse on saturday and tortured it for a few hours in the middle of the night. mickey then casually mentioned that the mouse carcas kinda just disappeared. well, wouldnt ya know it, i found that dead mouse. he made a nice little dead mouse home in my garbage bag full of sheets and blankets. yeah... dead mice make me scream a LOT.

saturday

2006-03-18T17:12:00.000-08:00

there are certain songs that you just can't quote lyrics from, no matter how cool or profound you think the lyrics are. 'closing time' by semisonic is a perfect example. there are some lines in that one that i think are quotable. however, if i ever put 'every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end' on my aim profile, i'd be that girl who was dorky enough to quote 'closing time.' i've thought about this a lot. and you know i'm right.

grandma's birthday is always during lent, but my family always eats birthday cake at her party, even if we gave up sweets until easter. although i was not there yesterday, rest assured that i ate a LOT of dessert in rapids in honor of gram. loving gesture or biggest rationalization in history, who can really say for sure.

is it weird that the other religion teacher and i have gone out to eat at 10 pm with our students twice this week? i don't know who are the bigger losers: the teachers who hang out with their students or the students who hang out with their teachers.

peace.

thursday's entry

2006-03-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

there are a lot of foods that i like the idea of eating, but never enjoy in reality. for example, oatmeal sounds like a fun food to eat, but i never like it when i actually try it. tea, same thing. strawberry ice cream falls under this category, as well as restaurant eggs. is this just a me thing?

you know something has gone horribly wrong when you have to call mom to confirm that march 15th is grandma's birthday but know with 100% certainty that the day before, taylor hanson turned 23.

here's a thought that creeps me out: no matter how hard you try, you will never ever be able to get away from yourself. you are stuck with you for eternity. not even for a fraction of a second will you be able to take a break from you.
good thing i think i'm pretty much the coolest.

peace out, yo.

mondayyyyyyyy

2006-03-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

you know where the poor clares in ireland live? they live on nuns' island. how freaking amazing is that? i'm so there.

this is how i copied Jn 20:19 into my notes the other day: "Jesus came and stood among them and stood among them and stood among them and said to them, 'peace be with you.'" captain retardo, at your service.

belle and sebastian = BEST CONCERT EVER. any lead singer who goes backstage to get a beverage and returns not with a beer but with hot tea and honey wins the prize, if you ask me. that supreme cuteness has forced me to overlook the child molester-esque tone quality in his singing voice.

peace out.

wednesday's

2006-03-08T17:09:00.000-08:00

katie's cooking tip #1: hamburger helper's instruction of "drain meat" is not optional. they mean that one. if it ain't down the drain, it's in your tummy, holy crapola.

i bought ten bucks worth of fruit today. that sounds a little ridiculous, but ever since oregon trail, i've been afraid of getting scurvy. just trying to take precautions.

i mentioned yesterday how i enjoyed the cowboy hat tipping. let's contrast that with the middle-aged man who points across the church and winks at me everyday during the sign of peace at mass. no good, no good!!

peace out, yo.

T to the uesday

2006-03-07T15:09:00.000-08:00

grades for this grading period are due in the office by today. it's 5:20 pm and i have about 70 more papers to go through before i can even start entering them onto the computer.
better update my blog.

i have this horrible fear that i'm gonna be in the chapel with one of my classes, i'm gonna genuflect to Jesus in the tabernacle, and i'm gonna let out a huge fart. i'm serious, i think about this every single time we go in there to pray. it's only a matter of time, i know it.

a man tipped his cowboy hat to me in walmart the other day. i'm not sure, but i think i liked it.

peace out.

monday, sweet monday

2006-03-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

after working at yen yen in high school, i know that chinese food places always abbreviate menu items when taking orders. however, i was not expecting the local chinese joint to abbreviate my order of mandarin chicken as "man chicken." as if my masculinity complex isnt serious enough.

i need to buy new teacher shoes pronto because my current ones make my feet smell RANK. i'm sitting here writing this blog entry and kinda getting nauseous because i can smell em from here. i'd go change socks or something right now if i didnt find it totally hilarious that i'm becoming physically ill from my own odor.

time to toot the "miss devitt is awesome" horn:
not only am i the director/advisor for Shadow Stations, a play Assumption puts on every year that depicts the Stations of the Cross, but we just went on our first overnight weekend performance tour and i put it all together. i got those 33 high schoolers a bus, food, a place to sleep, places to perform, a place to have a snow ball fight... dang, i'm good.

peace out.

wednesday (wow, i'm on a roll)

2006-02-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

on my way out of rockford on sunday, i drove on pelly avenue! although no one was in the car to share my excitment, be assured that i squealed with delight as i drove down the street.

i use smiley faces in EVERYTHING at school -- assignment sheets, homework, memos... i caught one of my juniors cheating on his test yesterday and i honestly thought about sticking a smiley face inside the "0" he earned.

i had a staff meeting for two hours after school today. you know what we spent a 1/2 hour of that meeting doing? debating between "attain" or "inspire" as a better word to use as part of our mission statement. and you wonder why i wanna be a nun so bad.

peace out.

tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuesday

2006-02-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

the junior morality test that i gave today had the following heading: "unit 1 exam -- it's time to kick the poop out of this test."
i may be getting a bit out of control.

one of my freshmen said something about all the students loving me today. i answered back, "yeah right, you all hate me." he replied, "no way, miss devitt. there is not ONE comment written about you on the bathroom stalls."

i'm wearing a pair of tapered sweatpants right now. just thought you'd all like to know that.

peace out, yo.

monday

2006-02-20T17:01:00.000-08:00

the flavor of the day at culver's pretty much makes or breaks the day for me here in rapids. i'm telling you, it's hard to cheer up when you pass that sign and it reads "maplelicious."

i have a serious fear that when i go run errands and i haven't showered or changed out of pjs or put in my contacts, people don't know that i'm a girl.

my duplex housemate has three bales of hay on her side of the garage. i wonder if i can get her to give them to me. owning hay has always been one of my goals.

peace out.

sorry for the hiatus

2006-02-08T19:29:00.000-08:00

the spanish teacher asked freshman jim to make up a story and tell it outloud so that they could translate it into spanish during class today. here was jim's story:
"one day senor was hungry. he ate a taco. he felt sick after he ate it. so senor went over to miss devitt's house. miss devitt had hot sauce on her lips. senor kissed the hot sauce off."
yes, this ACTUALLY happened. my life is over.

i have this horrible habit of watching american idol, listening to the 17-year-old boys sing, and then thinking to myself, "oooooooh, you are very cute!" please remind me that as a teacher of 17-year-olds, these thoughts are very against the law for me to have.

it's official: jon's going to the north american college in rome to study for the priesthood in the fall. when he becomes a bishop, i call dibs on being the nun who gets to make his bed in the morning and bring him his slippers at the end of the day. i'm proud of you, my dear friend.

entry for saturday

2006-01-14T10:11:00.000-08:00

i was talking to the smartest guy i've ever been acquainted with today online. i mean, i have an IQ of a beansprout compared to this boy. we were discussing authors and i was trying so hard to hold my own and sound intelligent. he mentioned flannery o'connor and i responded with, "oh, i like her." and as soon as i hit "send" on the IM, i panicked and thought, "is flannery o'connor a boy or a girl?! boy or girl?! please be a girl, please be a girl!"
she is indeed a woman, just in case you're as uncultured and stupid as me.

i can't detect where the rank smell in my kitchen is coming from. i've been scrubbing everything -- the oven, the fridge, the freezer -- and it's not helping. maybe it'll go away if i take a shower.

i agreed to give one of my freshman boys a ride to the library yesterday after school, although i wasn't quite sure it was appropriate. what song was playing on the radio when i turned on the car? Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson." i took that as the answer to my question.

if this is not funny to you, i apologize. you have no idea the anxiety i've felt lately, trying to come up with something you'll enjoy. i think i'm developing an ulcer from my blog. peace out.

thurrrrrrrrrsday

2006-01-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

post removed by administrator.

last week another teacher winked at me. not wanting to believe that it was intentional, i forced myself to attribute it to a muscle spasm. but it happened again today. and i felt the vomit rising into my mouth.

an ice cream sandwhich makes everything better. three ice cream sandwhiches, however, strangely makes everything worse. you dont have to try it, i already have.

peace out, yo.

tuesday, i hate you

2006-01-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

i'm starting a rock band. who's in? i call drummer.

in 5th period intro to catholicism today:
ME: "who knows what flowed out of Jesus when the soldier pierced His Side on the cross -- jared?"
JARED: "didn't milk?"
ME: "umm i think you're thinking of the land flowing with milk and honey, darling"
JARED: "are you sure? i thought it was milk."
ME: "yeah, yeah i am sure. you can trust me on this one, jared. milk did not flow out of Our Lord"

my new year's resolution: make the boy that works at subway love me.
step one: stop getting such manly things when ordering from subway.

peace out. please know that i am extremely jealous of you college kids.

fuh fuh fuh friday

2005-12-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

i don't know how they do it, but those home improvement catalogs that you get in the mail make me want every single thing on every single page. i never knew that i needed a rolling laundry organizer cart or a hamburger patty press, but after reading the explanatory paragraphs about them in the catalog, i genuinely feel that i do need them!

i can't deal with chunks. not in yogurt, not in spaghetti sauce, not on sundaes. and certainly not in "whole fruit popsicles."

i know that i usually have 3 random comments to share per entry, but i'm sick and can't think of a third. so eat my shorts.

peace out.

thursday's installment

2005-12-29T11:02:00.000-08:00

you know you had a successful Paint N Party session when you leave with:
- "Doody-Horns," the sullen, lumpy Greek god of wine (Holly)
- "Jeannine," the glittery female pilgrim sporting a 'pudding helmet' (Jason)
-"Carlos," the equally glittery male pilgrim wearing a red and olive unitard-thong (Danny)
- a hairy toilet seat (me)

things that make me gag 100% of the time:
a. strep tests
b. brushing my tongue with a tooth brush
c. blowing my nose

my brother rebuked me the other day for using my MU ID at the movies to receive the student rate. hey, until i make more money at my full-time job than my student friends make at their campus jobs, i will be using my freaking student ID at the movies, thankyouverymuch.

a week later

2005-12-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

alright, i'll admit it: when i'm the only one home (which tends to be the case every day of my life in rapids), i don't always close the door when i'm going to the bathroom.

on the last day of school before break, angela wanted to talk about incorrupt saints -- the ones whose bodies do not decay after they've died. she raised her hand and said, "miss devitt, what are those saints called again, the uncrustables?"

did your christmas mass have priests wearing birettas? i didn't think so. boo ya.

peace out, hope your christmas was wonderful.

oh, monday

2005-12-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

joanna newsom is the most frustrating musical artist on the planet. click on this link and watch this music video -- it's such a pretty song, but her voice ruins EVERYTHING.
http://www.hotget.com/videocode/Joanna_Newsom-Sprout__amp_The_Bean--6629.html

i think it'd be super fun to yell, "heeya!" and charge my trusty steed into battle.

i wanted my seniors to act out our apologetics packet with skits today. they weren't having it. what a bunch of grumps.

peace out.

sunday's installment

2005-12-18T19:28:00.000-08:00

i really don't mind driving long distances in the car by myself at all. i bet i would make an excellent cross-country truck driver. and not one of those lame ones, either. one that ALWAYS honks the horn when little kids want em to.

i think my students would be more intimidated by me if i got a tattoo. maybe a huge Jesus somewhere scary. like on my neck.

as i was on 39 this afternoon, i drove past one of those advertizing message boards in front of a farm. its message? "i saw mommy kissing santa's cows." ummmm yeah, that's not clever, that's nasty. stupid wisconsin.

peace out.

randomness for wednesday

2005-12-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

the only criteria i have for a husband currently is a man who is ready and willing to shovel the driveway. i'm too dainty to do this kind of manual labor.

certain chord progressions in songs remind me of certain people. weird.

the bit of conversation that totally made my day today:
ITZ JAMn: i hate winter
ITZ JAMn: i hate everything about it
NotKertheScribe: I'm sorry to hear that. I'd say I love winter myself, but won't, out of a desire not to contradict a lady.

monday monday

2005-12-12T18:36:00.000-08:00

oh my gosh! there's a thundercats season 1 dvd! i need $53.95, stat! (i had to ask alex how to use "stat" correctly.)

bobby and neal had detention with me this afternoon. we sat in silence for a few minutes, and then i couldn't take the quiet anymore. so i struck up a conversation with them.
...which turned into alan and hal playing a james bond video game and matt and noah advising them. after 20 minutes, i said, "bobby and neal, get out of here, this is the lamest detention ever."
...to which alan replied, "no, miss devitt, i think the lamest detention was a few weeks ago when i was in here and you and i played hangman." and i dropped my head in shame, for i knew he spoke the truth.

still further evidence to the "miss devitt is the worst teacher ever" argument: during the band/choir trip to chicago i chaperoned this weekend, one of my seniors told me a joke that made fun of mentally handicapped people. did i yell? no. did i scold and correct? no. did i tell her a helen keller joke? you betcha.

peace.

friday!

2005-12-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

i've learned that efficiency is very important to me when it comes to doing repetitive tasks, like bringing groceries into the house. i would rather break my arm, cut off circulation in both my pinkies and make it all in one trip than run back down to the car even one more time. all so i can go, "yes!! i did it!!"
... to myself, of course.

i'm going to the movies tonight. with andy. in wausau. an hour away. that's a lot of andy and katie time. i should bring a chastity belt. and maybe some nun pamphlets.

i want to thank everyone who has been saying that they enjoy reading my blog. i must tell you, though: i often re-read my entries, laugh to myself and think, "oh katie, you are a clever one." i'm glad other people get a kick out of me as much as i get out of myself.

good luck studying for finals, kids. peace out.

random thursdayness

2005-12-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

the hardest part of the not-doing-laundry-challenge is the issue of underwear. i had to break down and buy some more last night at walmart. and the only kind they had was a package of multi-colored panties with "bonus jewel pin" inside. and you betchur butt i bought them, i have no shame.

my doorbell rang at 6:45 this morning. i thought it was a killer. it turned out to be the spanish teacher. i told him that he probably shouldn't do that again.

deathcab, you disappoint me.

peace out, yo.

it's wednesday

2005-12-07T18:20:00.001-08:00

i have seven garbage bags full of dirty laundry in the backseat of my car. at this point, it's much more fun to see how long i can go without washing them than to wash them.

what exactly is trans fat and why are we so excited when our food doesn't have it?

JPII, we love you.

peace.

tuesday

2005-12-06T17:28:00.000-08:00

i asked my freshmen today to write 3 similarities between the Blessed Mother and their mother. jack's answer? "they both have heads."

is it normal that when i see someone i went to high school with in a store, my gut reaction is to run away?

my freshman's name is lindy. lindy has a sister named lindsey. lindy and lindsey have a cousin named tuffy. best named family ever.

monday's edition

2005-12-05T15:59:00.000-08:00

i want to be one of them nuns that goes to grad school.

there's not much in life that gives me more of an ego boost than one of my IM comments turning into someone's away message. in fact, i think the state of my self-esteem as a whole is determined solely by my away message-making percentage.

i'm currently eating buttered noodles out of the same pot i boiled them in. i'm so ghetto.

thursday's random things

2005-12-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

i found bibleopoly and bible pictionary in a drawer in my classroom today. it was like christmas morning.

post removed by administrator.

i almost broke my uterus today shoveling snow. when the shovel stops suddenly cause you've reached an uneven patch of driveway and your body keeps going, owie!

peace out.

wednesday's stuff

2005-11-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

in class today i played "let it be" for our prayer. i'm the coolest religion teacher ever.

i spent $93.05 at walmart tonight. is it possible that i went a little overboard with my faculty secret santa gifts? entirely possible.

happy feast of st. andrew! don't forget to say your novena!

Hail and blessed be the hour and the moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour vouchsafe, O my God, to hear my prayer and grant my desires. (Mention your intention here.) Through the merits of our Savior Jesus Christ and of His Blessed Mother. Amen.
~15 times a day from now until Christmas. it totally works, promise.

tuesday's randomness

2005-11-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

i decided that i would make a spectacular historical fiction writer.

what are some good, clean, fun playstation 2 games i can buy that freshmen boys would like?

here's the joke one of my freshmen told me yesterday:
What are cheaper: golf balls or deer balls?
Deer balls -- they're under a buck.

HAHA!

Ok, peace out.

randomness for monday

2005-11-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

it's really a shame that i'm not someone's girlfriend. i have all these wonderfully cute ideas that are just going to waste.

i wish that i would have studied harder in college.

do you ever re-read old notes/emails you've sent over the years and cringe because you sound like a complete dork? me too.

peace out.

random thing for sunday

2005-11-27T11:40:00.000-08:00

don't buy the new snow patrol album. however, do somehow acquire their songs "chocolate" and "run." and hanson's christmas album is a little piece of heaven right here on earth. peace out, yo.

i promise that i'll lose interest with this in about a day and a half

2005-11-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

when you're waiting to go over to danny's house and grading papers is your alternative, creating a blog sounds like a much more fabulous idea. chances are i will not continue with this for long -- mostly because i'm incredibly boring and have nothing much to write that's worth reading.

...yep, i think that pretty much does it. peace out, yo.